Deconstructing Stereotypical Mindsets

Feminism. A word often confused with meaning, higher rights or privileges to women. This is a very common misconception. Feminism means equal rights for all(MEN AND WOMEN) and to reach to that stage, women need upliftment. In the daily routine of a girl attending junior college, I come across many people who frown when I tell them that I am a feminist.They also sometimes disregard me from conversations sometimes reasoning that whatever is the topic feminists are always unreasonable and change the subject to female rights and their upliftment. This often annoys me and it is kind of sexist. Trust me,feminists are not always thinking about female rights and equality and role in society.They are normal people like you and me.We just have a different point of view.Get used to it.

A girl in India especially,has to go through many examples of stereotyping daily.You must be prepared for this.At first I  used to think that all the patriarchal influence would be outside the family in the outside  world,but slowly and steadily you contemplate  whether sexism is also practiced (maybe very mildly )inside your family as well.(No offence  intended to anyone).The extent of stereotyping outside has no bar for the Indian society.Like in many schools,in the class list,all the boys are listed first and the girls later.It may look like a very marginalized matter at a broad point of view,but if you think,what is the point of this action?What right are you giving the boys and not the girls?Don't even get me started on the illiteracy level of girls in our country.

The root cause of this problem,according to me is not the lack of resources,staff,funds(to a particular extent),it is in the mind of the people.For instance ,girl education is not taken seriously at all in rural India,due to the low minded thinking of the ancestors which is carried forward by the rest of the population,mainly that investment in education of girl is the same as throwing money down the drain.Why this mindset,you may ask?For no particular logical reason.But according to the “traditions” , when a girl is about 15 or 16 years or less(neglecting the maturity of  child of that age)she has to force-ably get married ,and then serve her husband and her in-laws till the end of eternity.Not to mention, the obvious responsibility of women,for which they are born for , giving birth to children.Why this special treatment to girls,I do not know the reason.

Speaking of marriage,let us bring our attention,to the most important”tradition” of Indian marriages,dowry.This concept has confused me beyond heights.So let me get this straight,if a marriage is taking place,a girl is leaving her home and her parents and going to start a new life with her husband(another concept,I don’t understand),the bride’s family has to give money and lots of “gifts” or “shagun” to the groom’s side.From childhood we have been learning that in a transaction both parties have to trade something,I believe the barter system is precisely the term for this concept.But in this “transaction”,the bride is being given away(“paraya dhan”) and money according to the resume of the groom is being given to the groom’s family.Where is the logic?When I was young and noticed this tradition,I often asked my father about this , but he  as confused as me could not relieve my curiosity with a proper logical answer.

The attitude and the traditions towards girls and women in this country has never failed to astonish me.These traditions amaze me everyday.From childhood ,we have been seeing women taking care of children and their homes day in and day out.Why do they do this?Many people find this question very stupid and meaningless.Women especially.Why is the social system like this?Why do women work all day taking care of the child,cleaning the house,cooking food,taking care  of their husbands?Why is this the responsibility of women?Who started this?Who made these rules?I am dying to meet that person.Also another thing,when a woman is introduced by her name ad occupation,it goes like this,”This is Aisha Kapoor,she does not work,she is a housewife.”When a woman works day and night,24 hours a day,7 days a week,12 months a year,365 days a year,without taking one leave and without receiving one paycheck,they are termed as a housewife.

Nowadays,a lot of women are working outside.Not many as proportion to men but considerably more than the past years.I also notice that the pay levels of men and women are not equal in rural or urban India.When a particular work is allotted to a person,the agreed amount of payment should be made to that person after the work is completed.How  gender discrimination shaped these norms and rules is an unknown answer that I still have to figure out.Why is there a difference in payment levels when the criteria of payment level should be on the quality of work being done?

Let us all bring our attention towards the topic of vital importance -Gender Stereotypes.Ever wondered why a girl is always playing with a barbie doll and a boy is always playing with a car?Why does  a girl  have pink balloons and pink toys whereas a boy had all boy toys and other clothes?These are basically constraints put on little innocent children by the society.When a boy cries ,his mother always tells him that”You are a boy,boys don’t cry.”I have never being told that.I was allowed to express my anger,sadness,happiness and other expressions freely.Why is crying seen as a very feminine way to deal with a situation?There are innumerable times when I have seen mothers telling their boys that crying is for girls ,not for boys.I do not understand the problem with crying and also the stereotype behind girls crying.Crying is  as important as being happy,or sad.People just do not understand that if you suppress your emotions or keep suppressing them,they are bound to explode one day with not a very favorable ending.Also  the basic notions of a girl being docile and naive and the “big” deal about masculinity of a boy/man I don’t understand.Just let the child find his/her freedom.Let them live.Let me elucidate this concept with and example.Once,I was on a family trip with my uncles and aunts and cousins and the big Indian family every Indian has.When we were about to leave the place ,all the menfolk were carrying the luggage from the rooms to the car.(In an Indian family,regardless of the duration of the visit,luggage carried will always be constant.)Anyways ,I started helping them and started carrying a big suitcase,when I was stopped by my uncle,who  said, “Don’t pick that up,that will be very heavy for you.Let me do it.”Being a rebel from infancy,I stopped and shot him a look with daggers shooting out of my eyes,then I kept the suitcase aside and politely explained him about the stereotypical notions of strength of society about men and women and how I was against them.He understood my point and gave me and additional suitcase to carry as a way of saying that he agrees with me.Now on family trips,I am always called for help,when it is regarding luggage, especially about luggage.